Monday, 12 July 2010

¡Viva España!

I have been quiet since I travelled to (and returned from) that Denmark, mostly watching the World Cup and working hard. Now, however, the World Cup has concluded and I thought I'd try my hand at a review which will finally demonstrate beyond all possible doubt how little I know about football.

World Cup 2010: End-of-term Report

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Teacher's Pets

Uruguay
When examining the World Cup groups before the tournament began, like most football fans do, I did think Uruguay might have successfully negotiated their group and made it into the knockout stages. I thought they might finish second behind France (see what I mean about my level of football knowledge?) and give Argentina a decent game before bowing out and heading home. But they negotiated a tricky opening game against the French - before their massive and hilarious implosion - and then gave the South Africans a lesson in tournament football and signing off with a routine win against Mexico when both teams were already effectively through. Group winners and a game against South Korea to come. Solid, I thought. Uncompromising and with a bit of talent too. And then they kept winning!

Okay, so Suarez's cheating against Ghana left a bad taste in the mouth and Ghana should have qualified for the semi final. But they gave Holland a good game too and then made Germany really work for third place. All in all, when matched against their pre-tournament expectations, Uruguay had a storming World Cup and even losing their two closing games can't take the gloss off.

Ghana
Speaking of which, Ghana likewise outperformed all but the most optimistic predictions for their trip to South Africa. They got through their group with two penalties and a solid defence - all the more impressive when you consider their custodian entered the tournament as Wigan Athletic's fourth-choice keeper - and then despatched the USA fair and square in their first knockout game. The Uruguay game doesn't need revisiting, but it's fair to say that Ghana deserved at least a fourth-place finish in that tournament and that's a staggering achievement. They did it without Michael Essien too.

Germany
Apparently German journos weren't too optimistic leading into this tournament and even after the Australians made them look far better than they were with a shocking opening game, the claims that Germany might go all the way were still muted. But they scored four goals twice more; against England and Argentina when they exposed those major footballing nations as pretenders on the biggest of stages. They didn't have any superstars, no Messi or Ronaldo, but they were a team of better-than-average players playing for each other and for the flag. Schweinsteiger had an excellent tournament and he was joined in that bracket by Mueller and Ozil. This was a young German team growing into their roles and they will take some stopping at Euro 2012, especially with the elder statesmen of the Spain side probably not going to feature.

Slovakia
Unremarkable against Paraguay and New Zealand, Slovakia made everyone sit up and take note with a mad victory against Italy and then deserved more against Holland in the knockout game. No superstars, no massive egos, just a team from a small-ish country who can be delighted they got out of their group before losing narrowly to the eventual runners-up.

New Zealand
And from the same group, how can you forget New Zealand? The only unbeaten team in South Africa 2010 and Kiwi football fans will never forget going in front against Italy or the last-gasp equaliser against Slovakia. They must have expected to get panned three times and go home having done their best, but no-one got the better of them. Excellent stuff.

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Satisfactory / Room for Improvement

Brazil

Everyone thought that this was the tournament where Brazil had added some steel to their fancy buildup and outrageous flair; the tournament where Brazil prided themselves on exciting attacking play but also were difficult to break down. When Robinho strolled through the Dutch defence in their quarter-final, they must have been confident of a date with the Spanish or Germans in the final. But then...implosion. Marking went to pieces, discipline was lost, and they limped home. Up to that point they had been really quite impressive, but when the chips were down, the heads dropped and for a team as good as this, that has to be a major disappointment.

Spain
Strange, since they won it. But I measure this review against pre-tournament expectations and the European Champions were favourites to bring the trophy home - a satisfactory outcome. To be put in the same group as Ghana, Uruguay et al, they would have had to dazzle South Africa 2010 with their football and win their games by multiple-goal margins...and they didn't. They were limp and lifeless against Switzerland, and while they fully deserved victory against Germany and Holland in their final two games, it was always more "effective" football than it was exciting football. They won their games by a single goal; they were tight at the back; they scored from their set-pieces. Deserved winners of the 2010 World Cup but when measured against their pre-tournament expectation, I'd rate them "Satisfactory".

Holland
Holland won a lot of friends by upsetting Brazil and quietly going about their business during the World Cup, and then promptly lost them all again by spending two hours kicking seven shades out of Spain in the final. It was the worst kind of gameplan and they were staggeringly lucky to have eleven players for as long as they did. The shouts of anger directed at Howard Webb (about the only Englishman to emerge from South Africa with his reputation enhanced) were bitter and unjustified, and seemed all too much like abusing a policeman for giving you a speeding ticket after he's found the severed head in your boot. They had a good tournament and they let themselves down badly when it came to the final, and I for one was disappointed in them for that since I had made up my mind just about at kick-off that I'd like them to win. I changed my mind, for what it's worth.

When it comes to Mr. Webb, he had an excellent tournament and he'll never forget a season where he's handled the Champions' League final and the World Cup final with great aplomb. Holland made it nearly impossible for him: had he applied the laws to the letter, they would have had nine men at half time and he would have been remembered as the referee who ruined the World Cup final. As it was, he attempted to let the game continue as a contest and Spain were incensed - probably with cause - that Holland got away with so much. By the time John Heitinga started the long walk back to the dressing room, he could have been leaving eight colleagues behind instead of ten. Webb had one of the hardest games of his career and he played it in probably the only way he could. As with politics, if you get the same amount of stick from each side, you're probably doing okay.


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See me after class

England
Obviously. They were beaten by a better German side but in all honesty England should never have been in the position where they had to play Germany - to not win a group of that standard was the defining failure of this campaign. Instead of entering the section of the tournament tree where their competition for a semi-final place was Uruguay, South Korea and Ghana, they went in with Mexico, Argentina and Germany and even an England team firing on all cylinders would have struggled with that.

Same old story with England: talked up too much, and then absolutely savaged when it inevitably comes apart. If the press and the fans could learn to temper their expectations of the England team - which has never been more than a good, solid team with a couple of genuinely world-class players - then perhaps the players could play without the crushing weight of expectation and the fear of the criticism they know they'll get for failing.

Objectively, England have always really been a team that could reasonably be expected to reach the quarter-finals of these major tournaments. We've never had a Brazil 70, Holland 74, Argentina 86, France 98 squad that swept all before it. even 1966, if we're totally honest, was probably more the result of playing the tournament in England. And yet! Successive quarter-finals in 06 and 08 were treated as total failure despite England's arguable bad luck in both tournaments. Is it any wonder that players fail to perform when they know that the penalty for losing is always so severe regardless of objective circumstances?

I firmly believe that England will fail to win a major trophy - barring a large slice of good luck - as long as the press continues to report on the national side in its current vein. Ban the press from following England (impossible, but we can dream) and I promise you the team will start challenging for these honours. When the World Cup started, Fabio Capello did not automatically become a bad manager. Players who perform every week at the highest level of domestic and European competition did not suddenly become talentless buffoons. It is the pressure and the fear that causes them to play nervous football and a nervous, hesitant England were ruthlessly exposed by a relaxed, fluid Germany. It was a poor World Cup for England and while the players and coaching staff take their share of the responsibility, the blame is not theirs alone.

Italy
The holders were flat and uninventive and they paid the price for their bland football with a series of pretty shocking results that saw them dumped out. Perhaps an Italian can offer a more eloquent defence through being more familiar with the circumstances similarly to how I presented England above, but without that knowledge I can only say this: the Italians badly underperformed and they, like England, will badly need an injection of young blood and a squad that can learn to play together from the ages of 18-22. Then we may well see the Azzurri make amends in Poland and the Ukraine in two years' time.

France
Just France. Do you need me to continue?


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And there you have it. No doubt you will disagree; no doubt you think I'm an ignorant prat and you wish to see me flayed. But please, if you do, feel free to offer your honest opinions. After all, if we all thought the same, what would we talk about over our pints before going home for Match of the Day?

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